The entries for Week 3 of Northern Attack's 2007 Writing Contest were once again very good, and once again after reading them all a bunch of times I had 2 favorites and 3 that were close behind. After reading all the entries a few more times I was able to pick the 3rd one I'd vote for. Since I cast my votes, though, I've been second guessing myself on whether I chose correctly for my 3rd vote. In any case, I can't change it now.
The challenge for Week 4 was to write a limerick about an Office character or characters. I remember writing haikus in school, but I don't ever remember writing, or even learning what a limerick was. In fact, I had to look limerick up on wikipedia to find out the rules / structure.
I didn't particularly like having to write poetry, and I disliked even more the aftereffects. After I play Tetris or Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo for awhile, when I close my eyes I still see the blocks dropping. Something similar occurred to me over the past few days, as after I worked on my limerick for awhile, I'd try to read a news article and I'd continuously be distracted by detecting rhymes, even though I wasn't consciously looking for them. Or worse, I'd find myself randomly counting syllables throughout the day.
I was going to submit this last night before the Office marathon started, but I figured I'd wait to see if I could come up with an extra verse for each person. I tried a couple ideas out, but decided to just go with what I already had. Here is my entry, which I submitted a little bit ago:
Writing Assignment #4: Uh, Booze Cruise Is Just A Rhyme...
The Accountants
He had a health scare on Mike's birthday
Tests were negative, which means OK
And those anal fissures
Got him some well wishers
Hoping Kevin's all better one day
Better hope all goes without a hitch
'Cuz she'll get irate if there's a glitch
With her stern demeanor
It's really no wonder
Creed said Angela's the office bitch
Caught faking sick with a shopping bag
Detective Dwight missed a bigger snag
But Mike let the word out
What's all the fuss about?
Big deal if Oscar's a... private guy
Friday, June 29, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
OfficeTally's Banner Contest
Summer can be a boring time for television fans since there aren't any new episodes of any of the best shows (e.g., The Office, Family Guy, LOST). So we must fill our time doing other things, one of my favorite of which is contests. The most recent of which was OfficeTally's banner contest, which ended last night. OfficeTally has had a ton of great contests over the past year and a half, and this one was no exception. There were a ton of great entries, including many that looked to be professional level. I'm a novice when it comes to Photoshop (I didn't even know how to use layer masks when the contest began), but I ended up entering 8 different banners, as well as 2 alternate versions. The winner and finalists for the vote have yet to be announced, but I don't like my chances considering all the great entries. If nothing else, though, I learned a lot about Photoshop making the banners. Here are the banners I entered into the contest (click the thumbnails for the full size versions):
And though the contest ended last night, this morning I made what I think is a big improvement to my last banner:
And though the contest ended last night, this morning I made what I think is a big improvement to my last banner:
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
10 Years Later... 10 Times Worse
Tonight on CBS they aired AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies (10th Anniversary Edition).
The original list, AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies, which was released in 1998, was okay. It was an interesting project, but the order in which some great movies appeared on the list was pretty bad (e.g., 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dr. Strangelove, The Godfather Part II, and especially Fargo, were all way too low on the list), many great movies were excluded from the list (e.g., The Lost Weekend, The Night Of The Hunter, Being There, Hannah And Her Sisters, and The Usual Suspects) and some movies that are certainly not in the top 100 American movies nonetheless made the list (e.g., The Searchers, Easy Rider, and Dances With Wolves).
With the new list, AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies (10th Anniversary Edition), few of the problems with the first list were corrected, and many new problems were introduced.
What didn't make the list, rightly so:
Dances With Wolves
What didn't make the list, but should have:
The Lost Weekend, The Night Of The Hunter, Being There, Hannah And Her Sisters, The Usual Suspects, were all still embarrassingly absent.
Some great movies that have been released since the first list, including The Big Lebowski, Being John Malkovich, Mulholland Dr., Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, as well as my current favorite movie, American Beauty, all failed to make the new list.
Some of the deserving movies that made the first list, including Giant, Rebel Without A Cause, and Fargo, which should have been much higher than #84, inexplicably fell off the list altogether.
What did make the list, but shouldn't have:
The Sixth Sense - This terribly overrated movie, which isn't in the top 1000 American movies, made the list at #89.
Titanic - This was seriously overrated when it was released, but I thought all that was long over. I was wrong. It made the list at #83.
The Searchers - One of the worst movies to make the initial list, barely, at #96. Instead of falling off the list like it should have, it shot all the way up to #12.
Raging Bull - While Scorsese has made many great movies, this is not one of them. It was too high on the first list at #24, and somehow this managed to make it all the way to #5 on the new list.
What did make the list, but should have been higher:
North By Northwest - One of Hitchcock's best movies, dropped from #40 on the first list, to #55 on the new one.
Dr. Strangelove - Easily a top 20, or maybe even top 10 movie. The first time around it made the list at #26. This time it dropped 13 spots to #39.
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - Dropped 13 places from #20 to #33.
The Godfather Part II - One of the most curious things about the first list was how this managed to only rank #32, considering how many top 10 lists it's made, and that it's currently #3 on the IMDb Top 250. Its rank was unchanged.
2001: A Space Odyssey - This managed to go up from #22 to #15, but it should have been in the top 10. Perhaps the reason this and Dr. Strangelove were so low was because while they're both great movies, they don't belong on a list of the best American movies, as they're British (along with a couple other movies on the list).
The original list, AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies, which was released in 1998, was okay. It was an interesting project, but the order in which some great movies appeared on the list was pretty bad (e.g., 2001: A Space Odyssey, Dr. Strangelove, The Godfather Part II, and especially Fargo, were all way too low on the list), many great movies were excluded from the list (e.g., The Lost Weekend, The Night Of The Hunter, Being There, Hannah And Her Sisters, and The Usual Suspects) and some movies that are certainly not in the top 100 American movies nonetheless made the list (e.g., The Searchers, Easy Rider, and Dances With Wolves).
With the new list, AFI's 100 Years... 100 Movies (10th Anniversary Edition), few of the problems with the first list were corrected, and many new problems were introduced.
What didn't make the list, rightly so:
Dances With Wolves
What didn't make the list, but should have:
The Lost Weekend, The Night Of The Hunter, Being There, Hannah And Her Sisters, The Usual Suspects, were all still embarrassingly absent.
Some great movies that have been released since the first list, including The Big Lebowski, Being John Malkovich, Mulholland Dr., Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, as well as my current favorite movie, American Beauty, all failed to make the new list.
Some of the deserving movies that made the first list, including Giant, Rebel Without A Cause, and Fargo, which should have been much higher than #84, inexplicably fell off the list altogether.
What did make the list, but shouldn't have:
The Sixth Sense - This terribly overrated movie, which isn't in the top 1000 American movies, made the list at #89.
Titanic - This was seriously overrated when it was released, but I thought all that was long over. I was wrong. It made the list at #83.
The Searchers - One of the worst movies to make the initial list, barely, at #96. Instead of falling off the list like it should have, it shot all the way up to #12.
Raging Bull - While Scorsese has made many great movies, this is not one of them. It was too high on the first list at #24, and somehow this managed to make it all the way to #5 on the new list.
What did make the list, but should have been higher:
North By Northwest - One of Hitchcock's best movies, dropped from #40 on the first list, to #55 on the new one.
Dr. Strangelove - Easily a top 20, or maybe even top 10 movie. The first time around it made the list at #26. This time it dropped 13 spots to #39.
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - Dropped 13 places from #20 to #33.
The Godfather Part II - One of the most curious things about the first list was how this managed to only rank #32, considering how many top 10 lists it's made, and that it's currently #3 on the IMDb Top 250. Its rank was unchanged.
2001: A Space Odyssey - This managed to go up from #22 to #15, but it should have been in the top 10. Perhaps the reason this and Dr. Strangelove were so low was because while they're both great movies, they don't belong on a list of the best American movies, as they're British (along with a couple other movies on the list).
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Northern Attack's 2007 Office Writing Contest - Week 3
It was really difficult deciding on my 3 favorite entries from Challenge #2. So many creative and hilarious entries. But I was eventually was able to whittle it down to 3. I am really disappointed that 9 people that did the first challenge didn't do the second one, including one of the people that I voted for on Challenge #1.
I posted my entry for Challenge #3 a little bit ago. Writing dialogue is definitely not one of my strengths so I did something different for this one.
Writing Assignment #3: It's a (Less) Wonderful Office
www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts
February 1, 2008
Haven't seen the redhead at work lately. I asked the midget lady about it. She said we had a big going away party for her and that I was there. Something about her marrying that Knight Rider guy and moving to California. She never gave me back my signed copy of Charlotte Light and Dark.
February 15, 2008
The air here at Dinder Mufflin seems different somehow recently. Also, I've had to drink an extra bottle of wine to get my same buzz on.
February 29, 2008
I started off my 3-day weekend at Poor Richard's. They now have a presidential style portrait of Mary Beth. The owner said they paid $1,000, the same as Mary Beth's monthly tab, to have it commissioned.
March 3, 2008
Evidently leap day isn't a holiday. Please write your Congressperson to have this changed before the next one in 2016.
March 14, 2008
Poor Richard's hasn't been as busy as usual. Haven't been selling many fake IDs lately. If things don't pick up I won't be able to attend this year's Katamari Damacy world championships in Yokohama.
March 28, 2008
Heard back from Professor Hawking regarding my paper explaining dark matter and dark energy. He said some of it was over his head and that he'll have to confer with some colleagues about it.
April 11, 2008
Went to Poor Richard's for a few drinks over lunch, but there was a sign that they were out of business.
='-(
I posted my entry for Challenge #3 a little bit ago. Writing dialogue is definitely not one of my strengths so I did something different for this one.
Writing Assignment #3: It's a (Less) Wonderful Office
www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts
February 1, 2008
Haven't seen the redhead at work lately. I asked the midget lady about it. She said we had a big going away party for her and that I was there. Something about her marrying that Knight Rider guy and moving to California. She never gave me back my signed copy of Charlotte Light and Dark.
February 15, 2008
The air here at Dinder Mufflin seems different somehow recently. Also, I've had to drink an extra bottle of wine to get my same buzz on.
February 29, 2008
I started off my 3-day weekend at Poor Richard's. They now have a presidential style portrait of Mary Beth. The owner said they paid $1,000, the same as Mary Beth's monthly tab, to have it commissioned.
March 3, 2008
Evidently leap day isn't a holiday. Please write your Congressperson to have this changed before the next one in 2016.
March 14, 2008
Poor Richard's hasn't been as busy as usual. Haven't been selling many fake IDs lately. If things don't pick up I won't be able to attend this year's Katamari Damacy world championships in Yokohama.
March 28, 2008
Heard back from Professor Hawking regarding my paper explaining dark matter and dark energy. He said some of it was over his head and that he'll have to confer with some colleagues about it.
April 11, 2008
Went to Poor Richard's for a few drinks over lunch, but there was a sign that they were out of business.
='-(
Friday, June 15, 2007
It takes brains to be this stupid.
In the June 2007 issue of Scientific American there's an interesting aggravating article about the "Traveler's Dilemma," which is this:
The obvious answer is $100, which if chosen by both people will net them each a crisp new Benjamin. But, if 1 of the persons choose $99 instead, and the other chooses $100, then the first person will instead get $101, and the other will get $97. And if the other person realizes this and then decides to choose $98, and the other person stays with $99, then the first person will get $100, and the other will get $96, and so on. In the article, which can be found here: The Traveler's Dilemma by Kaushik Basu, this is taken to its logical (illogical?) conclusion, all the way down to $2. To outthink oneself so horribly to come up with an answer that will net you at most $4 ($96 less than if you both chose $100), and then to justify it as the "logical" answer is ludicrous. It takes brains to be this stupid.
In the article Basu details how that when people choose a number other than $2 it goes against game theory. How in the world does trying to maximize the amount of money one gets, and assuming the other person will do the exact same, go against game theory? Choosing anything other than $100 will get you at most $101 (if you choose $99 and the other person chooses $100, which is a full $1 more, w00t!!!), and could get both of you much, much less. If anyone was dumb enough to follow the regress all the way down to $2, then hopefully they'd realize, "Hey, if I put $2 down, the other person is going to punch me in the face!" So they'd have to go up to $3, and realize, "Yep, I'd get punched for $3, too," and so on, all the way back up to $100. Unfortunately, the article doesn't cover this "Avoid Being Punched In The Face" (ABPITF) aspect of the Traveler's Dilemma. Hopefully someone will point this out in a nasty letter to the editor.
I could maybe see choosing $99, to try and get the extra dollar, or maybe even $98, which would at most get $100 as long as the opponent chose $99 or $100 (although I'd probably feel so bad about it afterwards I'd give them a few dollars so we'd both walk away with the same amount). But one would have to be a fool to go to $97, since at most choosing that would get you $99, which is less than if both people just chose $100. In a multiple trial scenario I think I'd go with $100 every time, and if my opponent wants to choose $99 to instead make $101, leaving me with $97, fine. I'd much rather get $97 each trial than get into some mutually detrimental bidding war where the only person that wins is the sucker who's paying out all the money. And if someone thought it through enough to choose the idiotic $2, then of course the game would have to pause for a few moments while they learned that if for no other reason, a person doesn't put down $2 or any other small amount to avoid being punched in the face.
Lucy and Pete, returning from a remote Pacific island, find that the airline has damaged the identical antiques that each had purchased. An airline manager says that he is happy to compensate them but is handicapped by being clueless about the value of these strange objects. Simply asking the travelers for the price is hopeless, he figures, for they will inflate it.
Instead he devises a more complicated scheme. He asks each of them to write down the price of the antique as any dollar integer between 2 and 100 without conferring together. If both write the same number, he will take that to be the true price, and he will pay each of them that amount. But if they write different numbers, he will assume that the lower one is the actual price and that the person writing the higher number is cheating. In that case, he will pay both of them the lower number along with a bonus and a penalty--the person who wrote the lower number will get $2 more as a reward for honesty and the one who wrote the higher number will get $2 less as a punishment. For instance, if Lucy writes 46 and Pete writes 100, Lucy will get $48 and Pete will get $44.
What numbers will Lucy and Pete write? What number would you write?
The obvious answer is $100, which if chosen by both people will net them each a crisp new Benjamin. But, if 1 of the persons choose $99 instead, and the other chooses $100, then the first person will instead get $101, and the other will get $97. And if the other person realizes this and then decides to choose $98, and the other person stays with $99, then the first person will get $100, and the other will get $96, and so on. In the article, which can be found here: The Traveler's Dilemma by Kaushik Basu, this is taken to its logical (illogical?) conclusion, all the way down to $2. To outthink oneself so horribly to come up with an answer that will net you at most $4 ($96 less than if you both chose $100), and then to justify it as the "logical" answer is ludicrous. It takes brains to be this stupid.
In the article Basu details how that when people choose a number other than $2 it goes against game theory. How in the world does trying to maximize the amount of money one gets, and assuming the other person will do the exact same, go against game theory? Choosing anything other than $100 will get you at most $101 (if you choose $99 and the other person chooses $100, which is a full $1 more, w00t!!!), and could get both of you much, much less. If anyone was dumb enough to follow the regress all the way down to $2, then hopefully they'd realize, "Hey, if I put $2 down, the other person is going to punch me in the face!" So they'd have to go up to $3, and realize, "Yep, I'd get punched for $3, too," and so on, all the way back up to $100. Unfortunately, the article doesn't cover this "Avoid Being Punched In The Face" (ABPITF) aspect of the Traveler's Dilemma. Hopefully someone will point this out in a nasty letter to the editor.
I could maybe see choosing $99, to try and get the extra dollar, or maybe even $98, which would at most get $100 as long as the opponent chose $99 or $100 (although I'd probably feel so bad about it afterwards I'd give them a few dollars so we'd both walk away with the same amount). But one would have to be a fool to go to $97, since at most choosing that would get you $99, which is less than if both people just chose $100. In a multiple trial scenario I think I'd go with $100 every time, and if my opponent wants to choose $99 to instead make $101, leaving me with $97, fine. I'd much rather get $97 each trial than get into some mutually detrimental bidding war where the only person that wins is the sucker who's paying out all the money. And if someone thought it through enough to choose the idiotic $2, then of course the game would have to pause for a few moments while they learned that if for no other reason, a person doesn't put down $2 or any other small amount to avoid being punched in the face.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Northern Attack's 2007 Office Writing Contest - Week 2
Northern Attack's 2007 Office writing contest is in full swing. Submissions for the first challenge are closed and submissions for the second challenge are open, as is voting for the first challenge. I waited until the submissions for the first challenge were closed to read all the other entries. That way my judgment wouldn't be affected if I was in a good mood while reading some entries, or in a bad mood while I read others. My mood is pretty stable, but I wanted to be sure. After the first read through I was really impressed by the quality of the entries. I had high expectations going in, but wow. After my initial read through I had 1 favorite. After 3 more read throughs I had 2 favorites and 3 more that were close behind. My initial favorite was now in the 3 close behind group. I read through all the entries 3-4 more times before I was able to pick the one for the last slot. And it wasn't my initial favorite. Once the contest is over I'll make a post with who I voted for each challenge. Until then...
A little bit ago I posted my entry for the second challenge. I haven't yet found any changes I'd make, although shortly after I posted it I found out that Open Office Writer was reporting the word count wrong for some reason. I spent something like 30 minutes fiddling with wording trying to get under 250 words. After I submitted my entry I copy and pasted my entry into a new document and did a word count and it came up 226! I don't know how that happened. I checked my first entry and it was 250. Anyway, I'll have to be sure to doublecheck that before posting next time. Had I known I had 24 more words to work with I could have included Ryan's and/or Dwight's reaction at the end.
Writing Assignment #2: So Much for Sunday School
Kelly steps out of the bathroom into the kitchen area and sees Ryan walking into Michael's office.
Kelly (Talking Head): It's been tough since Ryan broke up with me. I've been trying to show him what a huge mistake he made, but he won't return my calls or emails. I'm going to have to find another way to get his attention.
Kelly unbuttons the top button of her blouse, goes through the door to the main office area, and walks toward Dwight, who's sitting at his desk.
Kelly: Hey, Dwight. How's it going?
Dwight: Okay. What do you want?
Kelly: Nothing. Except oh my god, did you see Andy Stamberg on SNL the other night? He is so funny! Rap song, rap song...
Angela looks over at Kelly talking to Dwight. Concern crosses her face.
Dwight: I'd like to see Andy Stamberg spend a week at my farm picking beets during the harvest.
Kelly: Oh.
Kelly looks to Michael's office and sees Ryan getting up, then turns back to Dwight.
Kelly: (Under her breath) Here I go again.
Kelly grabs Dwight's head and kisses him on the lips. Dwight's eyes bulge as Kelly's kiss caught him by surprise.
Angela stands up.
Angela: (Shouts) Get away from my man you hussy!
The office goes silent. Angela gasps, then looks around. Everyone is staring at her.
Angela: Frak.
A little bit ago I posted my entry for the second challenge. I haven't yet found any changes I'd make, although shortly after I posted it I found out that Open Office Writer was reporting the word count wrong for some reason. I spent something like 30 minutes fiddling with wording trying to get under 250 words. After I submitted my entry I copy and pasted my entry into a new document and did a word count and it came up 226! I don't know how that happened. I checked my first entry and it was 250. Anyway, I'll have to be sure to doublecheck that before posting next time. Had I known I had 24 more words to work with I could have included Ryan's and/or Dwight's reaction at the end.
Writing Assignment #2: So Much for Sunday School
Kelly steps out of the bathroom into the kitchen area and sees Ryan walking into Michael's office.
Kelly (Talking Head): It's been tough since Ryan broke up with me. I've been trying to show him what a huge mistake he made, but he won't return my calls or emails. I'm going to have to find another way to get his attention.
Kelly unbuttons the top button of her blouse, goes through the door to the main office area, and walks toward Dwight, who's sitting at his desk.
Kelly: Hey, Dwight. How's it going?
Dwight: Okay. What do you want?
Kelly: Nothing. Except oh my god, did you see Andy Stamberg on SNL the other night? He is so funny! Rap song, rap song...
Angela looks over at Kelly talking to Dwight. Concern crosses her face.
Dwight: I'd like to see Andy Stamberg spend a week at my farm picking beets during the harvest.
Kelly: Oh.
Kelly looks to Michael's office and sees Ryan getting up, then turns back to Dwight.
Kelly: (Under her breath) Here I go again.
Kelly grabs Dwight's head and kisses him on the lips. Dwight's eyes bulge as Kelly's kiss caught him by surprise.
Angela stands up.
Angela: (Shouts) Get away from my man you hussy!
The office goes silent. Angela gasps, then looks around. Everyone is staring at her.
Angela: Frak.
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