Bill Callahan Fired

This morning Bill Callahan was fired from his job as the football coach of the Nebraska Cornhuskers. He joins athletic director Steve Pederson, who was fired last month. Even though they were fired, they both stand to make several million dollars over the next few years, as they're both under contract until 2012.

I personally believe that they shouldn't get millions of dollars for doing absolutely nothing, so I've come up with an alternative idea that would benefit both individuals and the university. I first got the idea after seeing this awesome cartoon by Neal Obermeyer after Pederson was fired:



That cartoon reminded me of the scene in Fun Run, the Season 4 premiere episode of The Office, where Eizabeth the stripper accepts the Big Check that cost $200 made out for $340 to Science. Which in turn reminded me of what happened to Elizabeth the stripper on her first appearance on the show, in the Season 3 episode Ben Franklin, where she's hired to dance at Bob Vance's bachelor party, but the party is cut short after Elizabeth dances on Michael and he has a sudden twinge of conscience, cutting the party short. Then Dwight, in his genius, takes Elizabeth up to the office and sits her down in Oscar's seat in accounting and this priceless exchange occurs:

Dwight: Elizabeth, I want you to sit here. When the phone rings, answer it.
Elizabeth: You want me to answer phones with my clothes on.
Dwight: We hired you for three hours work and we're going to get it.

Like Elizabeth the stripper, even though Steve Pederson and now Bill Callahan have been removed from the jobs they were originally hired for, that doesn't mean they should get the money from their contracts for doing nothing.

My modest proposal, then, which I guess is just Dwight's idea in a different situation, is that Steve Pederson and Bill Callahan should have to do some other job for the university until their contracts expire. While they both failed spectacularly at the high-profile jobs they were originally hired for, Pederson and Callahan would probably make acceptable janitors. Their job would be to clean up Memorial Stadium after each home game. I think that would be the least they could do to clean up the huge mess left in their wake.