In anticipation of the release of the remastered albums next month, I've been listening to The Beatles a lot lately. I've also been readinga lot of facts & opinions about the different versions that are going to be available: Stereo versions available separately for every album, a stereo box set, and a mono box set.
The 10 albums from Please Please Me to the "White Album" were originally released in mono, while the final 3 albums, Yellow Submarine, Abbey Road, and Let It Be were originally released in stereo.
The only way to get all the newly remastered CDs in the same versions as they were originally released is apparently to buy the mono box set plus the individual stereo versions of the final 3 CDs.
The incomplete mono box set that contains the 10 mono albums and the 2-disc Mono Masters sells for $230, which works out to a ridiculous $19.17 per CD. Plus, you still have to buy the individual Yellow Submarine, Abbey Road, and Let It Be CDs, as well as the individual version of Past Masters, since Mono Masters doesn't have The Ballad Of John And Yoko, Old Brown Shoe, or Let It Be. This works out to over $280 to get all the albums and songs in the versions that they were originally released.
In contrast, with the stereo box set, you get the complete 15 CDs as well as a DVD with 13- mini-documentaries for a much more reasonable $180. This works out to a mere $12 per CD.
The stereo mixes of the first 10 albums were made as an afterthought since back then stereo, while an immature technology, was nonetheless a hot gimmick. Besides not being the versions of the albums that The Beatles themselves were most concerned about, some of the stereo versions of songs have the vocals on only one channel, which is awkward, if not unpleasant, to listen to. It's ridiculous that the stereo versions are what were used back when the first version of The Beatles CDs were released, and it's even worse that they're repeating this mistake with these new releases.
I think it would be much better if rather than individual stereo releases, a complete stereo box set, and an incomplete mono box set, instead all the individually available albums were the same as they were originally released. Also, there should only be 1 box set, which has all the albums as they were originally released, the first 10 in mono, the final 3 in stereo, and Past Masters with all the songs as they were originally released.
If they want to release a box set with the stereo versions of the first 10 albums, that would be fine. Instead of the main version, it would be a curiosity like The Capitol Albums box sets that were released a few years back.
---
NBC is going crazy releasing bobbleheads. It started (I think) a few years ago with a Dwight bobblehead like the one seen in season 2 from The Office. Then after that a talking one of Michael Scott was released, which had no direct connection to The Office. Now they're releasing 14 more of all the main characters from the Office, which like the Michael one have no connection to the show. At the NBC store they also have non-Office related bobbleheads, including ones of the main character from the shows Monk, Psych, Heroes, ones for their show hosts Keith Olbermann, Jim Cramer, and Howie Mandel, and last but not least, The Dude.
What's funny is that originally on The Office, before Angela gave Dwight the bobblehead of himself, Dwight had various bobbleheads on his desk to show what a loser he was.
Despite being a big fan of The Office, these new bobbleheads don't appeal to me. The possible exception is the Kelly one, since I think it would go nice with the Dwight bobblehead I have.
But I'm sure there are lots of fans who these will appeal to, so I guess it's good NBC is making these. It'll be interesting to see in a year or two how far NBC has gone with this, and if they've released bobbleheads for all their shows.
The main thing that irks me about the bobbleheads is how they're being sold. There are 14 new bobbleheads and they're releasing 1 a week, for the discounted price of $15 plus $6.75 or more for shipping, a discount from the regular $19 plus shipping. I don't know why they're selling them like this. I think it would be much better if they released them all at once. Maybe they're trying to trick people into not realizing how much it'll be to buy them all, kind of like those president coin boards they sell on TV, where you get the board and the first and last coin for $10 or so, but then the rest of the coins are a few dollars each plus shipping, so if you want to complete the board you're going to have to spend a few hundred dollars. $19 plus shipping for each bobblehead doesn't seem too bad - but it adds up. To get all 14 of the new bobbleheads, even at the discounted price, it's over $300 to get them all shipped.
Even considering this complete price turn-off, I think it would have been better if in addition to releasing all the new bobbleheads individually, they released all the bobbleheads, both the 14 new as well as the 2 older ones, in some kind of deluxe complete set. The set would have a small discount (maybe 10-20%) to buying them all individually, plus big shipping savings. More importantly, to push sales the box set would have a bobblehead that isn't available individually. My first choice would be Mose. Or possibly a special version of the Dwight Bobblehead, such as one that's (fake) gold plated, or Dwight in one of his various costumes, like his karate gi from season 2, or of when he dressed up as Jim in season 3, or one of the 2 Halloween costumes we've seen him in, either the Sith costume from season 2, or even better, his Joker costume from season 5. The extra item doesn't even have to be a bobblehead, it could be something else, such as the Princess Unicorn doll from season 5. I never understood why, after coming up with such a hilarious idea, all they did with it outside of the show was making a mock website and selling a couple babydoll women's shirts. Did they not manufacture and sell the doll out of fear of getting sued by Mattel? I'm pretty sure if the Princess Unicorn doll was made available exclusively with the bobblehead complete set, it would sell out right away, just like the "real" Princess Unicorn dolls.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
TV
Posted on Twitter yesterday:
My first thought was not how much I'd miss a show I loved watching these last few years, but rather that this was justice for Lennon & co. firing - by email - Wendi McLendon-Covey, Carlos Alazraqui, and Mary Birdsong. If it was a creative decision to get rid of those three then what a horrible decision. More often than not the new officers were not only not funny, but also managed to make the funny stuff the others were doing less funny. If it was budgetary, they should have kept them and just made fewer episodes. While the first 5 seasons and the movie were great, season 6 was just OK. It had some funny moments, but not nearly as many as the previous seasons.
---
I've been planning on watching the new season of Mad Men when it came back, although I didn't know exactly when that was going to be. Then the other night while browsing the latest issue from my $1 Rolling Stone subscription, when I got to the very last page I saw this:
Awesome. So I set my VCR to tape it in case I forget about it.
Then last night I saw an ad for a new Greg Giraldo stand-up special premiering at the same time. It seems like Giraldo's on Comedy Central pretty often, although usually it's for roasts, which I have no interest in. Almost all of my favorite stand-up comedians are now either dead or doing other things, so this is pretty can't miss. I checked the listings and Mad Men airs twice back to back so I think I'll watch the Giraldo special and then the Mad Men premiere.
My first thought was not how much I'd miss a show I loved watching these last few years, but rather that this was justice for Lennon & co. firing - by email - Wendi McLendon-Covey, Carlos Alazraqui, and Mary Birdsong. If it was a creative decision to get rid of those three then what a horrible decision. More often than not the new officers were not only not funny, but also managed to make the funny stuff the others were doing less funny. If it was budgetary, they should have kept them and just made fewer episodes. While the first 5 seasons and the movie were great, season 6 was just OK. It had some funny moments, but not nearly as many as the previous seasons.
---
I've been planning on watching the new season of Mad Men when it came back, although I didn't know exactly when that was going to be. Then the other night while browsing the latest issue from my $1 Rolling Stone subscription, when I got to the very last page I saw this:
Awesome. So I set my VCR to tape it in case I forget about it.
Then last night I saw an ad for a new Greg Giraldo stand-up special premiering at the same time. It seems like Giraldo's on Comedy Central pretty often, although usually it's for roasts, which I have no interest in. Almost all of my favorite stand-up comedians are now either dead or doing other things, so this is pretty can't miss. I checked the listings and Mad Men airs twice back to back so I think I'll watch the Giraldo special and then the Mad Men premiere.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Wrap-Up
I just cast my last votes for this year's contest, and I ended up voting for
2 people 6 times
2 people 3 times
2 people 2 times
5 people 1 time
Reading the other people's entries was definitely my favorite part of the contest this year. Even though a lot fewer people entered this year than in the previous 3 years, there were still a lot of awesome entries.
Trimming my entries down to meet the maximum word-limit was definitely my least favorite part. I don't remember having a lot of trouble with that in previous years, but this time it was brutal.
Of my entries for the previous 4 years contests, I think my entries last year were the best I've done. My entries this year's were probably better than my entries the first two years, though.
Reviewing my entries for things I'd change, I'm happy enough with my entries for the first 2 weeks. I think my entry for the 3rd week sucks, but I don't know what I'd do differently. My entry for week 4 is probably my 2nd favorite of my entries this year. The thing I debated the most about was whether to have Michael mention that he'd been working on a hilarious AIDS joke in his letter. I guess I'm glad I left that out, though.
The poetry and song parody prompts are usually my least favorite to write for (although also some of my favorite to read the other entries for, so it's all good). With that in mind, for week 5 I took full advantage (i.e., unabashedly abused) of the no word limit thing in writing dialogue around the song parody like others did. There's one thing I wanted to include but didn't for no good reason. Instead of this:
Michael: How we doing, Pam, anything happening down there? ...Puuuush!
It would instead have been this:
Michael: How we doing, Pam, anything happening down there?
Dwight: That's what she...
Michael: (Interrupting.) Don't you dare, Dwight, that is completely inappropriate. This is a sacred occasion!
For week 6, I like my entry, but there are a few things I would change. The forgotten question mark at the end of the title in the first line, obviously. Also, even though the word limit was 300, I think my entry would have been better at 250 or even 200 words. A title I thought of the day after submitting my entry was "Do The Dwight Thing." I'm not sure if that's awesome or awful. Also, I should have had the National Geographic magazines been German. Apparently there it's just "National Geographic Deutschland," but I still wish I'd called them "Nationalen Geografisch."
For week 7, the word limit was only 250, and I really wish it had been 300. Cutting to 250 wasn't too time consuming, but the big cut I made was probably my favorite thing from any of my entries. Here's what my entry would have been if the word limit had been 300 words (new part is bold):
Jim is talking to Michael in his office. Dwight is eavesdropping from his desk, but with the door closed he only hears a few words.
Jim: Corporate... rewriting reports... pissing contest... Charles... time...
Jim returns to his desk.
Dwight: Jim, can I talk to you, privately. (Dwight motions with his head to the stairwell.)
Stairwell
Dwight: If the future of this company depends on, as you so crudely put it, a pissing contest, then I should handle it.
Jim: What... why?
Dwight: (He looks around to make sure they're alone.) Because I'm an Ultimate Urinating Championship hall of famer.
Jim: Sure you are.
Dwight: (Dwight opens his suit coat and peels back the liner to reveal over a dozen medals. He points to the top left.) Distance. (Bottom left) Duration. (Top right) Accuracy. (Bottom right) Artistry.
Jim: But don't you have chronic kidney stones? And what about that time your pee was green?
Dwight: That is the price I pay for flying too close to the sun in my quest to unleash the maximum potential of my species.
Jim: Wow...
Dwight (TH): Of course I'm proud of my success in the UUC. But if my underlings here knew just how dominant I am outside of the office, they wouldn't be able to handle it, and they'd end up like Tom.
Later that day.
Dwight returns to his desk holding a big glass of beet cider and notices Pam has several gold yogurt lids hanging around her neck.
Dwight: What are those? (Dwight looks at Jim, then back to Pam.) What league did you win those in? American or international rules? Were the judges certified?
Pam: Not now, Dwight, I'm training. (Pam sips some water.)
Dwight grunts, then chugs his glass, spilling beet cider all over himself.
------------
My entry for week 8 is my favorite of my entries this year. The one thing I didn't like was the robe and wizard hat bit near the end. I just couldn't resist referencing that meme. Even though I think that's something Michael would do, it should have been Michael having some prop(s) for a trick and saying "Who wants to see some magic?".
For week 9, I didn't decide on the idea I went with until Sunday morning. Before then I had been planning on writing about a horrible prank Dwight was going to pull on Jim. I definitely like the idea I went with a lot better, but as I wrote before, I really blew it with the part at the prison.
2 people 6 times
2 people 3 times
2 people 2 times
5 people 1 time
Reading the other people's entries was definitely my favorite part of the contest this year. Even though a lot fewer people entered this year than in the previous 3 years, there were still a lot of awesome entries.
Trimming my entries down to meet the maximum word-limit was definitely my least favorite part. I don't remember having a lot of trouble with that in previous years, but this time it was brutal.
Of my entries for the previous 4 years contests, I think my entries last year were the best I've done. My entries this year's were probably better than my entries the first two years, though.
Reviewing my entries for things I'd change, I'm happy enough with my entries for the first 2 weeks. I think my entry for the 3rd week sucks, but I don't know what I'd do differently. My entry for week 4 is probably my 2nd favorite of my entries this year. The thing I debated the most about was whether to have Michael mention that he'd been working on a hilarious AIDS joke in his letter. I guess I'm glad I left that out, though.
The poetry and song parody prompts are usually my least favorite to write for (although also some of my favorite to read the other entries for, so it's all good). With that in mind, for week 5 I took full advantage (i.e., unabashedly abused) of the no word limit thing in writing dialogue around the song parody like others did. There's one thing I wanted to include but didn't for no good reason. Instead of this:
Michael: How we doing, Pam, anything happening down there? ...Puuuush!
It would instead have been this:
Michael: How we doing, Pam, anything happening down there?
Dwight: That's what she...
Michael: (Interrupting.) Don't you dare, Dwight, that is completely inappropriate. This is a sacred occasion!
For week 6, I like my entry, but there are a few things I would change. The forgotten question mark at the end of the title in the first line, obviously. Also, even though the word limit was 300, I think my entry would have been better at 250 or even 200 words. A title I thought of the day after submitting my entry was "Do The Dwight Thing." I'm not sure if that's awesome or awful. Also, I should have had the National Geographic magazines been German. Apparently there it's just "National Geographic Deutschland," but I still wish I'd called them "Nationalen Geografisch."
For week 7, the word limit was only 250, and I really wish it had been 300. Cutting to 250 wasn't too time consuming, but the big cut I made was probably my favorite thing from any of my entries. Here's what my entry would have been if the word limit had been 300 words (new part is bold):
Jim is talking to Michael in his office. Dwight is eavesdropping from his desk, but with the door closed he only hears a few words.
Jim: Corporate... rewriting reports... pissing contest... Charles... time...
Jim returns to his desk.
Dwight: Jim, can I talk to you, privately. (Dwight motions with his head to the stairwell.)
Stairwell
Dwight: If the future of this company depends on, as you so crudely put it, a pissing contest, then I should handle it.
Jim: What... why?
Dwight: (He looks around to make sure they're alone.) Because I'm an Ultimate Urinating Championship hall of famer.
Jim: Sure you are.
Dwight: (Dwight opens his suit coat and peels back the liner to reveal over a dozen medals. He points to the top left.) Distance. (Bottom left) Duration. (Top right) Accuracy. (Bottom right) Artistry.
Jim: But don't you have chronic kidney stones? And what about that time your pee was green?
Dwight: That is the price I pay for flying too close to the sun in my quest to unleash the maximum potential of my species.
Jim: Wow...
Dwight (TH): Of course I'm proud of my success in the UUC. But if my underlings here knew just how dominant I am outside of the office, they wouldn't be able to handle it, and they'd end up like Tom.
Later that day.
Dwight returns to his desk holding a big glass of beet cider and notices Pam has several gold yogurt lids hanging around her neck.
Dwight: What are those? (Dwight looks at Jim, then back to Pam.) What league did you win those in? American or international rules? Were the judges certified?
Pam: Not now, Dwight, I'm training. (Pam sips some water.)
Dwight grunts, then chugs his glass, spilling beet cider all over himself.
------------
My entry for week 8 is my favorite of my entries this year. The one thing I didn't like was the robe and wizard hat bit near the end. I just couldn't resist referencing that meme. Even though I think that's something Michael would do, it should have been Michael having some prop(s) for a trick and saying "Who wants to see some magic?".
For week 9, I didn't decide on the idea I went with until Sunday morning. Before then I had been planning on writing about a horrible prank Dwight was going to pull on Jim. I definitely like the idea I went with a lot better, but as I wrote before, I really blew it with the part at the prison.
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 9
The prompt for week #9: "It's going to take a long time . . . And then it's perfect."
And my entry:
The elevator doors open. Pam, holding Vincent, and Jim walk out.
Jim: I don't know, he just said it was important. Maybe he perfected cold fusion.
Pam: Or maybe he has a new ringtone.
Jim opens the main office door. They take a few steps then stop when they see Dwight, wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, putting jumpsuits on everybody's desks. Jim and Pam look at each other.
Michael: Vincent! You're getting so big!
Pam: What is all this?
Michael: It's been 1 month since Ryan's probation was revoked, so we're all gonna go visit him at the prison today.
Jim: Why the jumpsuits?
Michael: To show our solidarity with Ryan. (Michael raises his fist.) Oh, and don't worry, I didn't forget about Vincent. (Michael walks to Pam's desk and picks up an infant sized orange jumpsuit along with a tiny bandana).
Pam: Ok. We'll see you at home. Be careful.
Jim: Alright, bye you two.
Andy: Later Little Tuna!
___________________________
Later, at the prison.
Michael: Ryan!
Ryan: Holy [bleep].
Michael runs over and hugs Ryan.
Ryan just stands there for a moment, then turns around, walks to a guard, and leaves the visiting area.
Jim: Hey, guard! Don't forget this one. (Jim points to Dwight.)
Dwight: Haha, very funny, Jim.
A guard grabs Dwight's arm and leads him away.
Dwight: No, you don't understand. We're just visiting.
Dwight (TH): (Sporting a shaved head.) I do not want to talk about prison. (He gets up and walks to his desk.)
---------------------
I like the first part well enough, but not the end with what Ryan does or Dwight's talking head. I've hated trimming 50 or more words from most of my entries this year, and rather than try and write something interesting for Ryan I took the easy way out to avoid that. I think I should have made Dwight's TH end positively for him, like maybe him landing the prison as an account or something.
And my entry:
The elevator doors open. Pam, holding Vincent, and Jim walk out.
Jim: I don't know, he just said it was important. Maybe he perfected cold fusion.
Pam: Or maybe he has a new ringtone.
Jim opens the main office door. They take a few steps then stop when they see Dwight, wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, putting jumpsuits on everybody's desks. Jim and Pam look at each other.
Michael: Vincent! You're getting so big!
Pam: What is all this?
Michael: It's been 1 month since Ryan's probation was revoked, so we're all gonna go visit him at the prison today.
Jim: Why the jumpsuits?
Michael: To show our solidarity with Ryan. (Michael raises his fist.) Oh, and don't worry, I didn't forget about Vincent. (Michael walks to Pam's desk and picks up an infant sized orange jumpsuit along with a tiny bandana).
Pam: Ok. We'll see you at home. Be careful.
Jim: Alright, bye you two.
Andy: Later Little Tuna!
___________________________
Later, at the prison.
Michael: Ryan!
Ryan: Holy [bleep].
Michael runs over and hugs Ryan.
Ryan just stands there for a moment, then turns around, walks to a guard, and leaves the visiting area.
Jim: Hey, guard! Don't forget this one. (Jim points to Dwight.)
Dwight: Haha, very funny, Jim.
A guard grabs Dwight's arm and leads him away.
Dwight: No, you don't understand. We're just visiting.
Dwight (TH): (Sporting a shaved head.) I do not want to talk about prison. (He gets up and walks to his desk.)
---------------------
I like the first part well enough, but not the end with what Ryan does or Dwight's talking head. I've hated trimming 50 or more words from most of my entries this year, and rather than try and write something interesting for Ryan I took the easy way out to avoid that. I think I should have made Dwight's TH end positively for him, like maybe him landing the prison as an account or something.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 8
The prompt for week #8: "Soccer Moms, Single Moms, Nascar Moms"
And my entry:
By 10:37 AM Rachel Howard had completed the same amount of work it normally took her son an entire day to complete. The work had been easy; it had been more difficult explaining to Pam that Ryan was sick and she'd be filling in for him today.
While most moms would've balked at the suggestion, she had reason for accepting. The only thing keeping her from finishing graduate school was her unfinished doctoral dissertation, "Here and There and Everywhere: Jungian Archetypes in Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears."
Despite working on it intermittently over 16 years, she had never matched all the protagonists to people in a single natural setting. Undeterred, she took out a printout of List of Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears characters to try and match them here.
After watching the redhead across from her sneak drinks from a flask, Rachel checked off Grammi, the gummiberry juice maker. Before long she had checked off the stern but effective Gruffi for Dwight, the talented but moody Gusto for Andy, and the slow Tummi for Kevin. Over lunch in the break room, Jim told the story of him and Pam. Rachel mentally checked off the humans Cavin and Princess Calla.
In the woman's room, Rachel met Kelly. She seemed to know Ryan pretty well, although he'd never mentioned her. After returning to her desk, she checked off the immature Sunni. After thinking a moment she checked off the ambitious Cubbi for Ryan.
That left only Zummi, the fumbling magician prone to misspeaking. Rachel sighed as he was always the hardest to match. Just then Michael walked out of his office wearing a robe and wizard hat. Rachel checked off Zummi and, imitating Brandi Chastain, pulled off her shirt, dropped to her knees, and raised both arms in celebration.
And my entry:
By 10:37 AM Rachel Howard had completed the same amount of work it normally took her son an entire day to complete. The work had been easy; it had been more difficult explaining to Pam that Ryan was sick and she'd be filling in for him today.
While most moms would've balked at the suggestion, she had reason for accepting. The only thing keeping her from finishing graduate school was her unfinished doctoral dissertation, "Here and There and Everywhere: Jungian Archetypes in Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears."
Despite working on it intermittently over 16 years, she had never matched all the protagonists to people in a single natural setting. Undeterred, she took out a printout of List of Disney's Adventures of the Gummi Bears characters to try and match them here.
After watching the redhead across from her sneak drinks from a flask, Rachel checked off Grammi, the gummiberry juice maker. Before long she had checked off the stern but effective Gruffi for Dwight, the talented but moody Gusto for Andy, and the slow Tummi for Kevin. Over lunch in the break room, Jim told the story of him and Pam. Rachel mentally checked off the humans Cavin and Princess Calla.
In the woman's room, Rachel met Kelly. She seemed to know Ryan pretty well, although he'd never mentioned her. After returning to her desk, she checked off the immature Sunni. After thinking a moment she checked off the ambitious Cubbi for Ryan.
That left only Zummi, the fumbling magician prone to misspeaking. Rachel sighed as he was always the hardest to match. Just then Michael walked out of his office wearing a robe and wizard hat. Rachel checked off Zummi and, imitating Brandi Chastain, pulled off her shirt, dropped to her knees, and raised both arms in celebration.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 7
The prompt for week 7: "Secret Secrets Hurt Someone"
And my entry:
Jim is talking to Michael in his office. Dwight is eavesdropping from his desk, but with the door closed he only hears a few words.
Jim: Corporate... rewriting reports... pissing contest... Charles... time...
Jim returns to his desk.
Dwight: Jim, can I talk to you, privately. (Dwight motions with his head to the stairwell.)
Stairwell
Dwight: If the future of this company depends on, as you so crudely put it, a pissing contest, then I should handle it.
Jim: What... why?
Dwight: (He looks around to make sure they're alone.) Because I'm an Ultimate Urinating Championship hall of famer.
Jim: Sure you are.
Dwight: (Dwight opens his suit coat and peels back the liner to reveal over a dozen medals. He points to the top left.) Distance. (Bottom left) Duration. (Top right) Accuracy. (Bottom right) Artistry.
Jim: Wow...
Dwight (TH): Of course I'm proud of my success in the UUC. But if my underlings here knew, they'd constantly be bothering me for autographs and to do exhibitions at parties.
Later that day.
Dwight returns to his desk holding a big glass of beet cider and notices Pam has several gold yogurt lids hanging around her neck.
Dwight: What are those? (Dwight looks at Jim, then back to Pam.) What league did you win those in? American or international rules? Were the judges certified?
Pam: Not now, Dwight, I'm training. (Pam sips some water.)
Dwight grunts, then chugs his glass, spilling beet cider all over himself.
Jim smirks at the camera.
And my entry:
Jim is talking to Michael in his office. Dwight is eavesdropping from his desk, but with the door closed he only hears a few words.
Jim: Corporate... rewriting reports... pissing contest... Charles... time...
Jim returns to his desk.
Dwight: Jim, can I talk to you, privately. (Dwight motions with his head to the stairwell.)
Stairwell
Dwight: If the future of this company depends on, as you so crudely put it, a pissing contest, then I should handle it.
Jim: What... why?
Dwight: (He looks around to make sure they're alone.) Because I'm an Ultimate Urinating Championship hall of famer.
Jim: Sure you are.
Dwight: (Dwight opens his suit coat and peels back the liner to reveal over a dozen medals. He points to the top left.) Distance. (Bottom left) Duration. (Top right) Accuracy. (Bottom right) Artistry.
Jim: Wow...
Dwight (TH): Of course I'm proud of my success in the UUC. But if my underlings here knew, they'd constantly be bothering me for autographs and to do exhibitions at parties.
Later that day.
Dwight returns to his desk holding a big glass of beet cider and notices Pam has several gold yogurt lids hanging around her neck.
Dwight: What are those? (Dwight looks at Jim, then back to Pam.) What league did you win those in? American or international rules? Were the judges certified?
Pam: Not now, Dwight, I'm training. (Pam sips some water.)
Dwight grunts, then chugs his glass, spilling beet cider all over himself.
Jim smirks at the camera.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 6
The prompt for Week 6: "69 Is Not A Vowel, Kevin."
And my entry:
FACT: Dwight Schrute was a contestant on Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?.
While Dwight had never played the computer game, his family had a large collection of National Geographic magazines that he'd read each night after finishing in the beet field, leaving him with formidable geographic knowledge and the magazines stained with beet juice.
On the show, Dwight's superior reflexes in the Lightning Round were enough to get him to first place after the first round. In the second round, he got lucky and found the loot, the warrant, and the crook, Top Grunge, on his third turn to move on to the finals.
In the finals, the big map was of the Caribbean, which was one of Dwight's specialties. The timer started and the first country named was Barbados. Dwight ran right to it, put the marker down, and the siren sounded. Dwight correctly identified the next five countries, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Curaçao, Haiti, and Antigua with similar ease. There were still 20 seconds left on the timer when Dwight was told the final country he needed to visit to catch Carmen: Cuba. Dwight froze. After a moment he said, "For many years now the United States has had an embargo against Cuba. It would be against the law for me to go there. What kind of Commie show is this?" The ACME Special Agent tried to explain that it was just a game, but Dwight ignored him. Dwight then picked up the final marker and shouted "Communists!" as he hurled it through the window of The Chief's office.
Dwight was disqualified without prize and the original film was destroyed. Also, everyone involved agreed never to speak of the incident again, which, come to think of it, sure does happen a lot when Dwight is involved.
----------------
I submitted this a few minutes ago with just over 30 minutes before the deadline. I wasn't sure I was going to enter a few hours ago since I didn't have an idea I liked. I'm sure I spent over a half hour minutes proofreading my entry and making small changes, and yet about 3 seconds after submitting it I noticed an obvious mistake in the very first line. D'oh! Since Blogger has no draconian penalties for correcting grammar mistakes I've taken the liberty of fixing it above.
And my entry:
FACT: Dwight Schrute was a contestant on Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?.
While Dwight had never played the computer game, his family had a large collection of National Geographic magazines that he'd read each night after finishing in the beet field, leaving him with formidable geographic knowledge and the magazines stained with beet juice.
On the show, Dwight's superior reflexes in the Lightning Round were enough to get him to first place after the first round. In the second round, he got lucky and found the loot, the warrant, and the crook, Top Grunge, on his third turn to move on to the finals.
In the finals, the big map was of the Caribbean, which was one of Dwight's specialties. The timer started and the first country named was Barbados. Dwight ran right to it, put the marker down, and the siren sounded. Dwight correctly identified the next five countries, Puerto Rico, Jamaica, Curaçao, Haiti, and Antigua with similar ease. There were still 20 seconds left on the timer when Dwight was told the final country he needed to visit to catch Carmen: Cuba. Dwight froze. After a moment he said, "For many years now the United States has had an embargo against Cuba. It would be against the law for me to go there. What kind of Commie show is this?" The ACME Special Agent tried to explain that it was just a game, but Dwight ignored him. Dwight then picked up the final marker and shouted "Communists!" as he hurled it through the window of The Chief's office.
Dwight was disqualified without prize and the original film was destroyed. Also, everyone involved agreed never to speak of the incident again, which, come to think of it, sure does happen a lot when Dwight is involved.
----------------
I submitted this a few minutes ago with just over 30 minutes before the deadline. I wasn't sure I was going to enter a few hours ago since I didn't have an idea I liked. I'm sure I spent over a half hour minutes proofreading my entry and making small changes, and yet about 3 seconds after submitting it I noticed an obvious mistake in the very first line. D'oh! Since Blogger has no draconian penalties for correcting grammar mistakes I've taken the liberty of fixing it above.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 5
The prompt for week 5: The "Beers in Heaven" Memorial Prompt
And my entry:
Michael: I was up all night figuring out how I could help make today the best day ever for Jim and Pam. So here's a song that's an old favorite with a new twist. Dwight, would you and your friend do the harmonies for me?
Dwight and Mose walk toward the stage.
Cut to a previously recorded Jim and Pam talking head.
Jim (TH): After what Michael did at Phyllis's wedding, we were hesitant to invite him.
Pam (TH): But we figured, he couldn't do anything worse, right?
Michael: Oh, and in case any of you didn't know, Pam is way pregnant. That dress really hides it well. You guys should see her around the office. She looks like she could pop any day now. Pam, why don't you show everyone how big your bump is? Just lift up your... no? Alright, maybe later after you've had a few drinks.... Hit it!
The music to The Beatles' version of "Twist and Shout" starts.
Well, push out that baby, now, (push out that baby)
Push it out. (push it out)
C'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and push it on out. (push it on out)
Well, push it on out, honey. (push it on out)
You know you look so big. (look so big)
You know you want to have it now, (want to have it)
Just like I knew you would. (like I knew you would)
Well, push out that baby, now, (push out that baby)
Push it out. (push it out)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and push it on out. (push it on out)
You know you push your little girl, (push, little girl)
You know you push so fine. (push so fine)
Come on and push a little harder, now, (push a little harder)
And let us know that it's time. (let us know it's time)
Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh
Waahhhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhh Waahhhhh
Well, push out that baby, now, (push out that baby)
Push it out. (Push it out)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and push it on out. (push it on out)
You know you push your little girl, (push, little girl)
You know you push so fine. (push so fine)
Come on and push a little harder, now, (push a little harder)
And let us know that it's time. (let us know it's time)
Well, push it, push it, push it, baby, now. (push out that baby)
Well, push it, push it, push it, baby, now. (push out that baby)
Well, push it, push it, push it, baby, now. (push out that baby)
Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh
Michael: How we doing, Pam, anything happening down there? ...Puuuush!
The camera pans to Jim and Pam. They just stare.
And my entry:
Michael: I was up all night figuring out how I could help make today the best day ever for Jim and Pam. So here's a song that's an old favorite with a new twist. Dwight, would you and your friend do the harmonies for me?
Dwight and Mose walk toward the stage.
Cut to a previously recorded Jim and Pam talking head.
Jim (TH): After what Michael did at Phyllis's wedding, we were hesitant to invite him.
Pam (TH): But we figured, he couldn't do anything worse, right?
Michael: Oh, and in case any of you didn't know, Pam is way pregnant. That dress really hides it well. You guys should see her around the office. She looks like she could pop any day now. Pam, why don't you show everyone how big your bump is? Just lift up your... no? Alright, maybe later after you've had a few drinks.... Hit it!
The music to The Beatles' version of "Twist and Shout" starts.
Well, push out that baby, now, (push out that baby)
Push it out. (push it out)
C'mon c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and push it on out. (push it on out)
Well, push it on out, honey. (push it on out)
You know you look so big. (look so big)
You know you want to have it now, (want to have it)
Just like I knew you would. (like I knew you would)
Well, push out that baby, now, (push out that baby)
Push it out. (push it out)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and push it on out. (push it on out)
You know you push your little girl, (push, little girl)
You know you push so fine. (push so fine)
Come on and push a little harder, now, (push a little harder)
And let us know that it's time. (let us know it's time)
Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh
Waahhhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhh Waahhhhh
Well, push out that baby, now, (push out that baby)
Push it out. (Push it out)
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, baby, now, (come on baby)
Come on and push it on out. (push it on out)
You know you push your little girl, (push, little girl)
You know you push so fine. (push so fine)
Come on and push a little harder, now, (push a little harder)
And let us know that it's time. (let us know it's time)
Well, push it, push it, push it, baby, now. (push out that baby)
Well, push it, push it, push it, baby, now. (push out that baby)
Well, push it, push it, push it, baby, now. (push out that baby)
Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh Waahhhhhhhhhh
Michael: How we doing, Pam, anything happening down there? ...Puuuush!
The camera pans to Jim and Pam. They just stare.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 4
After submitting my week 3 entry I read through the week 2 entries to pick 3 to vote for. One of the other entries, which was posted the day before I posted mine, had the same basic idea as mine. Oops. Even if I had seen it before I posted my entry I probably would have posted mine the same anyway since by then I was already done with mine and scrapping an entry no one was going to vote for and spending a bunch of time on a new entry no one was going to vote for either probably wouldn't have been worth the time. Although it would have been fun thinking of what Michael thinks he would do if he was president.
Prompt for Week 4: Reality Television -- Well Now That's Fairly Embarassing
And my entry:
Everyone is working when Michael walks into the office carrying a newspaper. He opens it, then holds it up to everyone. There's a large picture of Michael as Ping below the headline "Nauseating Comedy Act."
Michael: They love me! I'm a star!
Jim: Um, I don't think that's a compliment.
Michael: Of course it is, Jim. Making an audience laugh so hard they feel like throwing up is what every comedian perspires to.
Dwight sticks his finger in his mouth.
Michael: No, dummy, I didn't tell a joke. Say, Pam... (Michael looks to reception, then turns to Pam and sees she's on a sales call.) Nevermind, I'll do it myself.
Michael goes into his office.
_______________________
Tom,
The documentary I wrote you about before started airing recently. Last night's segment was our annual Dundie Awards from several years ago. Watching my performance made me realize that I'm ready for the big time. So, I hereby request from you the honor of hosting the Academy Awards. Unlike some past hosts I have experience handing out trophies. A few ways I'd spice things up:
I have many more ideas, but I'd prefer to tell you them in person. Let me know when you'll be in Scranton and we'll set something up.
Smiles,
Michael Scott
P.S.: No one knows this, but I've written a screenplay. If things go like I expect them to after the Oscars, I'd like you to audition for the role of my sidekick. Based on your performance in Forrest Gump, you'd be perfect. Just know that I am also interested in playing the part, similar to how in Austin Powers Mike Myers also played Mini-Me. Wasn't he amazing?
*Preferably Russell Crowe or Christian Bale
Prompt for Week 4: Reality Television -- Well Now That's Fairly Embarassing
And my entry:
Everyone is working when Michael walks into the office carrying a newspaper. He opens it, then holds it up to everyone. There's a large picture of Michael as Ping below the headline "Nauseating Comedy Act."
Michael: They love me! I'm a star!
Jim: Um, I don't think that's a compliment.
Michael: Of course it is, Jim. Making an audience laugh so hard they feel like throwing up is what every comedian perspires to.
Dwight sticks his finger in his mouth.
Michael: No, dummy, I didn't tell a joke. Say, Pam... (Michael looks to reception, then turns to Pam and sees she's on a sales call.) Nevermind, I'll do it myself.
Michael goes into his office.
_______________________
Tom,
The documentary I wrote you about before started airing recently. Last night's segment was our annual Dundie Awards from several years ago. Watching my performance made me realize that I'm ready for the big time. So, I hereby request from you the honor of hosting the Academy Awards. Unlike some past hosts I have experience handing out trophies. A few ways I'd spice things up:
- I'd announce a few fake winners during the ceremony. When they* got up to the podium I'd shout, "Gotcha!"
- Instead of winners giving acceptance speeches, losers would have to give speeches explaining how the winner was better than them.
- One of my employees is named Oscar. Instead of the trophy, I'd present him to one of the winners* and say, "Here's your Oscar!"
I have many more ideas, but I'd prefer to tell you them in person. Let me know when you'll be in Scranton and we'll set something up.
Smiles,
Michael Scott
P.S.: No one knows this, but I've written a screenplay. If things go like I expect them to after the Oscars, I'd like you to audition for the role of my sidekick. Based on your performance in Forrest Gump, you'd be perfect. Just know that I am also interested in playing the part, similar to how in Austin Powers Mike Myers also played Mini-Me. Wasn't he amazing?
*Preferably Russell Crowe or Christian Bale
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Guano Apes back together!
The other day I was going through my music collection and googling bands to see if any of them had or are going to soon have new albums out. None of them did, although I did find a most welcome (and unexpected) update to GuanoApes.org: The band is reuniting to do a bunch of festivals this summer. There's no specific mention of them doing a new studio album, but I'm going to be super disappointed if they don't.
New "Weird Al" Video - Craigslist
I can't post the video here because "Embedding disabled by request" (WTF), so here's the link to the video on YouTube:
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Craigslist
I didn't care for Straight Outta Lynwood because I didn't like any of the songs he was parodying. But him parodying Jim Morrison like this is awesome. Maybe he could do an album full of songs in the style of other classic rock bands.
"Weird Al" Yankovic - Craigslist
I didn't care for Straight Outta Lynwood because I didn't like any of the songs he was parodying. But him parodying Jim Morrison like this is awesome. Maybe he could do an album full of songs in the style of other classic rock bands.
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 3
After the pathetic 6 entries for week 1's prompt, there were 18 entries for week 2. Now that's more like it!
Prompt for week 3: The Flendersons--A Match Made In Heaven. Except For The Divorce.
And my entry:
No Happy Ending
One day during Toby's first year at Saint Charles Borromeo Seminary outside Philly, he and the other seminarians had to picket Phoebe's Pleasure Palace, a brothel masquerading as a massage parlor. Their protest led to a police raid within an hour. Among the arrested was Cathy Zolinski. It was her first day as the receptionist. She was unaware of the illegal activity, but the police didn't believe her. After being released she relocated to Scranton. Toby grew obsessed with her after seeing her in news reports, and he left seminary to follow her back to Scranton. She thought he was cute, they started dating, and they soon married.
Things were going well for the Flendersons until one day they were visited by documentarians wanting to make a documentary about their lives because of their unique histories. The documentarians presented what their research had found, including that Toby was Phoebe's best customer, which was how they assumed the couple met. The planned title for the documentary was "Can Buy Me Love."
Cathy immediately kicked Toby out of the house and filed for divorce. The next day, trying to regain a modicum of control in his life, Toby jetted to Amsterdam to find a suitable replacement so the documentary could still move forward. Lightning did not strike twice.
The documentarians didn't want to start over from scratch, so they changed the subject of their documentary from the defunct Flendersons to the probably soon to be defunct company Toby works for. Dinkin' flicka.
--------------------
I'm not positive, but I think this might be the first time I actually waited till Sunday to post my entry. I just wish I had been able to come up with something better. The only other idea I seriously considered was that Toby's ex-wife Cathy was made up, and Sasha was an orphan he adopted at the seminary. It didn't make a lot of sense and probably wouldn't have been very funny, although I did like the opening line I came up with:
Question: Toby, his ex-wife Cathy, an elf, and a fairy run a 5k. Who wins?
Answer: Toby, because the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Prompt for week 3: The Flendersons--A Match Made In Heaven. Except For The Divorce.
And my entry:
No Happy Ending
One day during Toby's first year at Saint Charles Borromeo Seminary outside Philly, he and the other seminarians had to picket Phoebe's Pleasure Palace, a brothel masquerading as a massage parlor. Their protest led to a police raid within an hour. Among the arrested was Cathy Zolinski. It was her first day as the receptionist. She was unaware of the illegal activity, but the police didn't believe her. After being released she relocated to Scranton. Toby grew obsessed with her after seeing her in news reports, and he left seminary to follow her back to Scranton. She thought he was cute, they started dating, and they soon married.
Things were going well for the Flendersons until one day they were visited by documentarians wanting to make a documentary about their lives because of their unique histories. The documentarians presented what their research had found, including that Toby was Phoebe's best customer, which was how they assumed the couple met. The planned title for the documentary was "Can Buy Me Love."
Cathy immediately kicked Toby out of the house and filed for divorce. The next day, trying to regain a modicum of control in his life, Toby jetted to Amsterdam to find a suitable replacement so the documentary could still move forward. Lightning did not strike twice.
The documentarians didn't want to start over from scratch, so they changed the subject of their documentary from the defunct Flendersons to the probably soon to be defunct company Toby works for. Dinkin' flicka.
--------------------
I'm not positive, but I think this might be the first time I actually waited till Sunday to post my entry. I just wish I had been able to come up with something better. The only other idea I seriously considered was that Toby's ex-wife Cathy was made up, and Sasha was an orphan he adopted at the seminary. It didn't make a lot of sense and probably wouldn't have been very funny, although I did like the opening line I came up with:
Question: Toby, his ex-wife Cathy, an elf, and a fairy run a 5k. Who wins?
Answer: Toby, because the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 2
For last week's prompt there were only 7 entries. Pathetic! Not that the other 6 entries weren't good, they were great, but in the previous 2 years' contests there were 35 and 29 entries the first week. Some people posted they had other stuff going on and what not, but I'm still really disappointed there weren't more entries since this was an awesome prompt and all the regulars always made such hilarious entries for past prompts, including many which, while good, were not as good as this one. There are already more than twice as many entries for the week 2 prompt, so that's good.
Prompt for week 2: Don't Be Listless...Enter This Week!
And my entry:
10. The new Yankee Stadium (on opening day). A disappointment in more ways than one, but YMMV.
9. World's Largest Shoe in Hallam
8. The Wonder Wheel at Coney Island
7. The Statue of Liberty's crown. Technically it's not going to reopen to the public until July 4, but like that guy said, "[T]he brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough."
6. Royal Victorian Manor in Woodstock, Illinois
5. Lackawanna Coal Mine. Go during the week and slip the tour guide $20 to get the mine all to yourselves.
4. Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas. Everyone said we had to go here when we told them our honeymoon was in Vegas. Quite the experience, although the Star Trek stuff was boring.
3. ZERO-G flight, also in Vegas. The weightlessness only lasts 25 seconds at a time, so plan accordingly.
2. Blackwell Island Lighthouse. This lighthouse is decommissioned, which was convenient since otherwise it would've been blindingly bright, unbearably hot, and it would've created a silhouette of us across the night sky.
1. Some house here in town. We have a realtor friend who sometimes lets us stay in unoccupied houses. We just threw caution to the wind here all weekend long. At one point, I almost went through the living room wall. We bought a clown painting to conceal the damage. Before putting it up, I carved "Easy Rider was here" on the wall underneath. Overall, an amazing and unforgettable experience.
-----------
The only other idea I seriously considered was a top 10 things Michael Scott would do if he was president.
Prompt for week 2: Don't Be Listless...Enter This Week!
And my entry:
10. The new Yankee Stadium (on opening day). A disappointment in more ways than one, but YMMV.
9. World's Largest Shoe in Hallam
8. The Wonder Wheel at Coney Island
7. The Statue of Liberty's crown. Technically it's not going to reopen to the public until July 4, but like that guy said, "[T]he brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough."
6. Royal Victorian Manor in Woodstock, Illinois
5. Lackawanna Coal Mine. Go during the week and slip the tour guide $20 to get the mine all to yourselves.
4. Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas. Everyone said we had to go here when we told them our honeymoon was in Vegas. Quite the experience, although the Star Trek stuff was boring.
3. ZERO-G flight, also in Vegas. The weightlessness only lasts 25 seconds at a time, so plan accordingly.
2. Blackwell Island Lighthouse. This lighthouse is decommissioned, which was convenient since otherwise it would've been blindingly bright, unbearably hot, and it would've created a silhouette of us across the night sky.
1. Some house here in town. We have a realtor friend who sometimes lets us stay in unoccupied houses. We just threw caution to the wind here all weekend long. At one point, I almost went through the living room wall. We bought a clown painting to conceal the damage. Before putting it up, I carved "Easy Rider was here" on the wall underneath. Overall, an amazing and unforgettable experience.
-----------
The only other idea I seriously considered was a top 10 things Michael Scott would do if he was president.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 1
The 4th annual Northern Attack Summer Writing Contest started on Monday, when the first of 9 writing prompts was posted:
The first week's prompt.
If it's anything like previous years, the contest should be a lot of fun, even in the likely event that, objectively speaking, my entries are the worst in the contest.
Here's my entry for the first prompt:
The Future Is Just History That Hasn't Happened Yet
Michael and Holly approach each other from opposite ends of the stage.
Holly: Hello, I'm Haley, a time traveler from 2109. Who are you?
Michael reaches for his gun.
Holly shakes her head no.
Michael: I'm Mickey Scott, a... another time traveler from 2109.
Holly: Aren't you the great-grandson of Michael Scott and... Teri Hatcher?
Michael: Yes, and you must be the great-granddaughter of Holly Flax and... A.J. Holly was the best HR rep in Dunder Mifflin history. She... (Michael looks around.) stopped an alien invasion when she discovered the evil alien leader had taken over the body of Toby Flenderson, and terminated him. Hasta la vista, Toby!
Holly: Yes, and Michael was the best regional manager in Dunder Mifflin history. After the Toby... incident, contact was made with some other aliens. These aliens were peaceful, and came from a paperless planet. Michael negotiated with them the biggest business deal in history, which made Dunder Mifflin the exclusive paper product provider for their entire planet.
Michael: Yes, and that allowed Dunder Mifflin to open many branches worldwide, and even reopen the Buffalo branch, which was closed in 2009.
The crowd complains loudly.
Holly: Oh no... you guys didn't know?
David: Michael, Holly, we need to talk.
Michael: Uh, I think maybe it's time we went back to 2109, and...
Holly: ...Had a drink to celebrate the memory of our great-grandparents.
They disappear in a flash of light and smoke.
Michael and Holly walk out of the wooded area carrying chairs.
-----
In previous year's contests I've usually posted my entries right away when I was done since I was afraid that if I didn't someone else would post an entry with a similar idea first. I finished my entry Tuesday night and just made a few minor changes since then. I figured it was unlikely anyone else would use time travelers and aliens, so I held back submitting it. So obviously, earlier today an awesome entry was posted that was Terminator and future themed. I didn't want to start over, so I went ahead and posted what I had. I'm sure I'll lose points for having an entry similar to the one before it (as I should), but it's pretty unlikely anyone would have voted for my entry anyway, and now I can stop worrying about it and just enjoy all the awesome entries for this week's prompt.
The first week's prompt.
If it's anything like previous years, the contest should be a lot of fun, even in the likely event that, objectively speaking, my entries are the worst in the contest.
Here's my entry for the first prompt:
The Future Is Just History That Hasn't Happened Yet
Michael and Holly approach each other from opposite ends of the stage.
Holly: Hello, I'm Haley, a time traveler from 2109. Who are you?
Michael reaches for his gun.
Holly shakes her head no.
Michael: I'm Mickey Scott, a... another time traveler from 2109.
Holly: Aren't you the great-grandson of Michael Scott and... Teri Hatcher?
Michael: Yes, and you must be the great-granddaughter of Holly Flax and... A.J. Holly was the best HR rep in Dunder Mifflin history. She... (Michael looks around.) stopped an alien invasion when she discovered the evil alien leader had taken over the body of Toby Flenderson, and terminated him. Hasta la vista, Toby!
Holly: Yes, and Michael was the best regional manager in Dunder Mifflin history. After the Toby... incident, contact was made with some other aliens. These aliens were peaceful, and came from a paperless planet. Michael negotiated with them the biggest business deal in history, which made Dunder Mifflin the exclusive paper product provider for their entire planet.
Michael: Yes, and that allowed Dunder Mifflin to open many branches worldwide, and even reopen the Buffalo branch, which was closed in 2009.
The crowd complains loudly.
Holly: Oh no... you guys didn't know?
David: Michael, Holly, we need to talk.
Michael: Uh, I think maybe it's time we went back to 2109, and...
Holly: ...Had a drink to celebrate the memory of our great-grandparents.
They disappear in a flash of light and smoke.
Michael and Holly walk out of the wooded area carrying chairs.
-----
In previous year's contests I've usually posted my entries right away when I was done since I was afraid that if I didn't someone else would post an entry with a similar idea first. I finished my entry Tuesday night and just made a few minor changes since then. I figured it was unlikely anyone else would use time travelers and aliens, so I held back submitting it. So obviously, earlier today an awesome entry was posted that was Terminator and future themed. I didn't want to start over, so I went ahead and posted what I had. I'm sure I'll lose points for having an entry similar to the one before it (as I should), but it's pretty unlikely anyone would have voted for my entry anyway, and now I can stop worrying about it and just enjoy all the awesome entries for this week's prompt.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Another best episode ever of The Daily Show
I know I post this every few months, but last night's Daily Show was their best episode ever, again. Full episode on thedailyshow.com:
2009-04-06 - The Daily Show (Guest: Michael J. Fox)
2009-04-06 - The Daily Show (Guest: Michael J. Fox)
Friday, April 3, 2009
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Cancelled or No?
Last week on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles during one of the commercial breaks near the end of the episode, the voice over said that there were 2 episodes left to find out what happens. Not 2 more episodes left in the season, but just 2 episodes left.
I got on the computer and found this: Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles CANCELLED 04-10-2009
But then during tonight's episode, the voice over said that next week's episode was the season finale, and did not call it the final episode.
There have been rumors for a while that the show was going to be cancelled at the end of the season, so it's not exactly surprising if it is getting cancelled, but it would be nice to know one way or the other.
I got on the computer and found this: Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles CANCELLED 04-10-2009
But then during tonight's episode, the voice over said that next week's episode was the season finale, and did not call it the final episode.
There have been rumors for a while that the show was going to be cancelled at the end of the season, so it's not exactly surprising if it is getting cancelled, but it would be nice to know one way or the other.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Reno 569 3/8?
it is not the same without clemy, garcia & kimball. tonight's episode wasn't very funny at all. it has been so long since the last episode, i would have thought they could have come up with something funnier and more interesting than that. even the ass penny guy was disappointing.
i hope the rest of the season proves me wrong, but i have afeeling they should have called it quits after 5.
eta: found this: Since you asked.... by Wendi McLendon Covey
what the frak were they thinking?
i hope the rest of the season proves me wrong, but i have afeeling they should have called it quits after 5.
eta: found this: Since you asked.... by Wendi McLendon Covey
what the frak were they thinking?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
A Katamari Damacy game is finally coming to the PS3
Joystiq had a story the other day that a Katamari Damacy game was finally going to be released on the PS3, and now they have a trailer:
New trailer confirms that animals love Katamari Damacy Tribute
I think the cel-shading looks just plain weird more than anything. It stinks that all the levels in the trailer are from the previous games, with the obvious exception of the flowers growing where you roll level (which reminds me of the Forest Spirit in Princess Mononoke).
Still, between that and the other PS3 exclusives like WipeOut, Ratchet & Clank, God Of War, and to a lesser extent the downloadable stuff like Noby Noby Boy & Flower, if they lower the price to $300 or less (or keep the price the same, or even raise it, if it includes full PS2 backward compatibility), that could possibly be enough to sway me to getting one of the current generation video game consoles.
New trailer confirms that animals love Katamari Damacy Tribute
I think the cel-shading looks just plain weird more than anything. It stinks that all the levels in the trailer are from the previous games, with the obvious exception of the flowers growing where you roll level (which reminds me of the Forest Spirit in Princess Mononoke).
Still, between that and the other PS3 exclusives like WipeOut, Ratchet & Clank, God Of War, and to a lesser extent the downloadable stuff like Noby Noby Boy & Flower, if they lower the price to $300 or less (or keep the price the same, or even raise it, if it includes full PS2 backward compatibility), that could possibly be enough to sway me to getting one of the current generation video game consoles.
Probably the best product review I've ever read.
What the title said:
The SSD Anthology: Understanding SSDs and New Drives from OCZ by Anand Lal Shimpi
The 64GB version of the OCZ Vertex is currently only $170 after rebate at Newegg, so barring anything major, I think I'll be buying that, or maybe the Summit, along with Windows 7 when it's released later this year.
The SSD Anthology: Understanding SSDs and New Drives from OCZ by Anand Lal Shimpi
The 64GB version of the OCZ Vertex is currently only $170 after rebate at Newegg, so barring anything major, I think I'll be buying that, or maybe the Summit, along with Windows 7 when it's released later this year.
One could buy a lot of ice cream for 180 billion dollars.
A couple months ago I bought something or other on amazon.com and was able to get a year subscription to Rolling Stone for $1. The other day I got my third issue in the mail. Here's the cover:
At first I thought Gossip Girl was a band, but apparently it's a TV show. Anyway, on the inside is just about the last thing I expected to find based on the cover: A thorough and easy to understand article about the downfall of AIG. Here's the link to the article:
The Big Takeover by Matt Taibbi
ETA (2009-03-27): Matt Taibbi responds to Jake DeSantis's op-ed in Tuesday's New York Times.
At first I thought Gossip Girl was a band, but apparently it's a TV show. Anyway, on the inside is just about the last thing I expected to find based on the cover: A thorough and easy to understand article about the downfall of AIG. Here's the link to the article:
The Big Takeover by Matt Taibbi
ETA (2009-03-27): Matt Taibbi responds to Jake DeSantis's op-ed in Tuesday's New York Times.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
When green tea isn't tea at all
After trying numerous brands, Yogi Tea brand "Simply Green Tea" has been my green tea of choice for several now. Since no local stores sell it, I have to buy it online. A couple weeks ago I placed my semi-annual order from a different online store than the one I normally buy from, and in a moment of gross negligence on my part, I bought the wrong tea.
What I wanted to buy:
What I mistakenly bought:
I didn't notice my mistake until after the tea arrived, and noticed the different packaging and the list of ingredients having, instead of just 1 ingredient, "Organic Green Tea Leaf," a blend of 10 different things.
Of course, only tea made from Camellia sinensis leaves is actually tea, and different preparations of Camellia sinensis leaves result in the different basic teas, such as white (least processing), green (medium processing), and black (most processing). Any "teas" made from other plants, commonly called herbal teas, aren't teas at all. While no detailed content proportion details are listed in the "Green Tea Super Anti-Oxidant" ingredient list, from the listed caffeine content amounts of the two teas, 58 mg per bag in Simply Green Tea, and 21 mg of caffeine per bag in Green Tea Super Anti-Oxidant, I would guess that only about 1/3 of Green Tea Super Anti-Oxidant is actually green tea, and the rest is the non-tea herbs. Considering this, it would be a lot more accurate if they changed the name to "Super Anti-Oxidant Green Tea Blend" or something which emphasizes that it's a blend, and de-emphasizes the green tea part.
As I've written before, I hate letting things I buy go to waste, and sending the 3 little boxes I bought back was impractical, so I decided to drink it if at all possible. After all, how bad could it be?
Pretty dang bad. Not as bad as Choice brand Bancha Toasted Green Tea, which is the worst tea I've ever tried, but still pretty bad.
Avoid at all costs.
The tea has an overwhelming lemon flavor, presumably from the lemongrass. The tea would still be drinkable if it was a good lemon flavor, but it's not. I don't know how to describe it other than it's very bad.
What I wanted to buy:
What I mistakenly bought:
I didn't notice my mistake until after the tea arrived, and noticed the different packaging and the list of ingredients having, instead of just 1 ingredient, "Organic Green Tea Leaf," a blend of 10 different things.
Of course, only tea made from Camellia sinensis leaves is actually tea, and different preparations of Camellia sinensis leaves result in the different basic teas, such as white (least processing), green (medium processing), and black (most processing). Any "teas" made from other plants, commonly called herbal teas, aren't teas at all. While no detailed content proportion details are listed in the "Green Tea Super Anti-Oxidant" ingredient list, from the listed caffeine content amounts of the two teas, 58 mg per bag in Simply Green Tea, and 21 mg of caffeine per bag in Green Tea Super Anti-Oxidant, I would guess that only about 1/3 of Green Tea Super Anti-Oxidant is actually green tea, and the rest is the non-tea herbs. Considering this, it would be a lot more accurate if they changed the name to "Super Anti-Oxidant Green Tea Blend" or something which emphasizes that it's a blend, and de-emphasizes the green tea part.
As I've written before, I hate letting things I buy go to waste, and sending the 3 little boxes I bought back was impractical, so I decided to drink it if at all possible. After all, how bad could it be?
Pretty dang bad. Not as bad as Choice brand Bancha Toasted Green Tea, which is the worst tea I've ever tried, but still pretty bad.
Avoid at all costs.
The tea has an overwhelming lemon flavor, presumably from the lemongrass. The tea would still be drinkable if it was a good lemon flavor, but it's not. I don't know how to describe it other than it's very bad.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Winamp 5.551 Is Awesome
After 7 months since the last update, Winamp has finally been updated again, to version 5.551. This is actually a very tiny update to version 5.550, a release which I missed, but must have been sometime in the last couple weeks. Even though so far I've noticed only 2 important differences from the previous version I had installed (5.541), I think this update might just make Winamp perfect. The key differences:
1. They finally fixed the bug with "Add to Winamp's Bookmark list" appearing in Windows context menus even when you deselect it in the options. This bug has been around for a while (since version 5.35, maybe?), and for a while I was able to edit the registry to get rid of it, but with the last few versions, either I've been deleting the wrong registry entries, or the errant registry entries have been respawning every time Winamp is opened.
2. The MilkDrop 2 visualization plugin by Ryan Geiss has been updated with some new presets, and holy crap are they gorgeous. There were already so many presets I'm not 100% certain which ones are all new, and which ones are just new to me, but some of the ones I've seen since updating, such as the water ones, the bouncing geometric shapes ones, and some other ones that I don't know how to describe, are incredible beyond words.
Just for fun, I decided to do the old load my entire music library into the playlist, set it to random play, and post the first 10 songs that come up, no skipsies:
1. Edson Cordeiro - Ave Maria
2. Alanis Morissette - You Learn
3. Ben Folds - Selfless, Cold And Composed
4. Hooverphonic - Frosted Flake Wood
5. Bob Dylan - Just Like A Woman
6. The Decemberists - July, July!
7. Tori Amos - Purple People
8. Saul Williams - WTF!
9. John Williams - The Millennium Falcon, Imperial Cruiser Pursuit
10. Lamb - Softly (Bota Remix)
1. They finally fixed the bug with "Add to Winamp's Bookmark list" appearing in Windows context menus even when you deselect it in the options. This bug has been around for a while (since version 5.35, maybe?), and for a while I was able to edit the registry to get rid of it, but with the last few versions, either I've been deleting the wrong registry entries, or the errant registry entries have been respawning every time Winamp is opened.
2. The MilkDrop 2 visualization plugin by Ryan Geiss has been updated with some new presets, and holy crap are they gorgeous. There were already so many presets I'm not 100% certain which ones are all new, and which ones are just new to me, but some of the ones I've seen since updating, such as the water ones, the bouncing geometric shapes ones, and some other ones that I don't know how to describe, are incredible beyond words.
Just for fun, I decided to do the old load my entire music library into the playlist, set it to random play, and post the first 10 songs that come up, no skipsies:
1. Edson Cordeiro - Ave Maria
2. Alanis Morissette - You Learn
3. Ben Folds - Selfless, Cold And Composed
4. Hooverphonic - Frosted Flake Wood
5. Bob Dylan - Just Like A Woman
6. The Decemberists - July, July!
7. Tori Amos - Purple People
8. Saul Williams - WTF!
9. John Williams - The Millennium Falcon, Imperial Cruiser Pursuit
10. Lamb - Softly (Bota Remix)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Choke (The Movie)
I watched the Fight Club movie before reading the book, which turned out to be perfect since while the book was very good, the movie was extraordinary.
That said, my expectations for the Choke movie weren't very high. It's been years since I read Choke, and I always remember it as being my least favorite Chuck Palahniuk book I had read to that point (it along with Fight Club, Survivor, and Invisible Monsters).
Even with my low expectations, I was disappointed with the movie.
In the movie, the three main story lines - the sex addiction stuff, the mother stuff, the colonial times stuff, and the choking stuff were all out of proportion (although it's been so long since I've read it, it might be like this in the book for all I know), with way too much of the sex addiction stuff, slightly too much of the mother & hospital stuff, about the right amount of Denny & colonial times stuff, and not nearly enough of the choking stuff. It's pretty ridiculous to relegate the thing that gives the book its title to the D story with only 3 scenes. This would be like if Fight Club had only included 3 brief scenes of the fighting. I guess maybe they thought the choking scenes were too similar to include more? Even worse than that, thoguh, was the decision to exclude the big payoff of the choking stuff, the "stoning" scene, which was probably my favorite part of the book, where all the people who saved Victor find out it was a con. This stoning scene was included in the deleted scenes section of the DVD in 2 versions, a regular and extended version.
I think the movie would definitely have been better if it was 10-15 minutes longer, keeping everything in it, and adding 2-3 more choking scenes, and a version of the extended stoning scene, but instead of Denny telling Victor that the crowd had figured it out, we see the crowd figure it out, perhaps between a few of the people from the choking scenes in the movie.
In a conversation on the DVD between Palahniuk and the director, Palahniuk mentions that he gave the director permission to do whatever he wanted, as long as he inclcuded the stoning scene scene and also the hypnosis part. It's been so long since I've read the book that I had no memory of the hypnosis part, so I had to look it up. It's chapter 20 of the book, and I didn't think it was that great. Also, I have no idea how they'd film it and get the point across. It's kind of hard to tell if Palahniuk was joking about him wanting those 2 parts kept in, but if he was serious than the director most certainly should have followed his wishes. And serious or not, Palahniuk was definitely right that they should have included the stoning scene.
That said, my expectations for the Choke movie weren't very high. It's been years since I read Choke, and I always remember it as being my least favorite Chuck Palahniuk book I had read to that point (it along with Fight Club, Survivor, and Invisible Monsters).
Even with my low expectations, I was disappointed with the movie.
In the movie, the three main story lines - the sex addiction stuff, the mother stuff, the colonial times stuff, and the choking stuff were all out of proportion (although it's been so long since I've read it, it might be like this in the book for all I know), with way too much of the sex addiction stuff, slightly too much of the mother & hospital stuff, about the right amount of Denny & colonial times stuff, and not nearly enough of the choking stuff. It's pretty ridiculous to relegate the thing that gives the book its title to the D story with only 3 scenes. This would be like if Fight Club had only included 3 brief scenes of the fighting. I guess maybe they thought the choking scenes were too similar to include more? Even worse than that, thoguh, was the decision to exclude the big payoff of the choking stuff, the "stoning" scene, which was probably my favorite part of the book, where all the people who saved Victor find out it was a con. This stoning scene was included in the deleted scenes section of the DVD in 2 versions, a regular and extended version.
I think the movie would definitely have been better if it was 10-15 minutes longer, keeping everything in it, and adding 2-3 more choking scenes, and a version of the extended stoning scene, but instead of Denny telling Victor that the crowd had figured it out, we see the crowd figure it out, perhaps between a few of the people from the choking scenes in the movie.
In a conversation on the DVD between Palahniuk and the director, Palahniuk mentions that he gave the director permission to do whatever he wanted, as long as he inclcuded the stoning scene scene and also the hypnosis part. It's been so long since I've read the book that I had no memory of the hypnosis part, so I had to look it up. It's chapter 20 of the book, and I didn't think it was that great. Also, I have no idea how they'd film it and get the point across. It's kind of hard to tell if Palahniuk was joking about him wanting those 2 parts kept in, but if he was serious than the director most certainly should have followed his wishes. And serious or not, Palahniuk was definitely right that they should have included the stoning scene.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Portal, Portal: The Flash Version Mappack, and Portal: Prelude
Portal
I didn't get to play Portal for over a year after it was released since my ancient computer didn't meet the minimum specifications. I knew it was going to be great from all the press and people talking about it, and I wasn't disappointed. One thing that was cool was sometimes I'd get stumped for a little bit and then I'd take a break, and then when I came back I figured out what I had to do in a few seconds. That happened several times, and I finished the game without having to look up anything online. This is currently my favorite PC game (not that I've played that many), and GLaDOS is on my short short list of favorite video game characters.
Grade: A++
Portal: The Flash Version Mappack
Based on Portal: The Flash Version, this mappack features great new puzzles and more GLaDOS goodness. The only thing I didn't really like was the boss fight. The first time I beat the boss I didn't know what I had done to defeat it.
Grade: A-
Portal: Prelude
In Portal the main challenge is figuring out how to use the portals to finish the level. Once you've figured it out, actually firing the portals correctly is pretty easy. I didn't appreciate how awesome this was until playing Portal: Prelude, where figuring out what you need to do is pretty easy for the most part, and the main difficulty is chaining together portal falls and building up speed to eventually reach where you need to go. In Portal it's awesome trying to figure out the puzzles, but in Portal: Prelude, quickly figuring out what you need to do, and then spending what seems like hours actually getting it is the opposite of fun.
The plot stuff after challenge 19 was probably my favorite part of the game. The easter eggs were pretty cool too.
Portal: Prelude has an awesome soundtrack. It's not original, but great music is great music. My favorite tracks are Silence - Larmes, Adrian Charkman - In The Beginning, and the Still Alive remixes and alternate versions by Jarrett Heather, Morgani, Razor Red Noise, TaVeRiC, and Valentin Brunn.
One last thing that sucked was that while making my way through the game, it hard froze my computer 3 times. I played version 1.1, and there's now a version of 1.1.5. Hopefully that's been fixed now.
Grade: C-
I didn't get to play Portal for over a year after it was released since my ancient computer didn't meet the minimum specifications. I knew it was going to be great from all the press and people talking about it, and I wasn't disappointed. One thing that was cool was sometimes I'd get stumped for a little bit and then I'd take a break, and then when I came back I figured out what I had to do in a few seconds. That happened several times, and I finished the game without having to look up anything online. This is currently my favorite PC game (not that I've played that many), and GLaDOS is on my short short list of favorite video game characters.
Grade: A++
Portal: The Flash Version Mappack
Based on Portal: The Flash Version, this mappack features great new puzzles and more GLaDOS goodness. The only thing I didn't really like was the boss fight. The first time I beat the boss I didn't know what I had done to defeat it.
Grade: A-
Portal: Prelude
In Portal the main challenge is figuring out how to use the portals to finish the level. Once you've figured it out, actually firing the portals correctly is pretty easy. I didn't appreciate how awesome this was until playing Portal: Prelude, where figuring out what you need to do is pretty easy for the most part, and the main difficulty is chaining together portal falls and building up speed to eventually reach where you need to go. In Portal it's awesome trying to figure out the puzzles, but in Portal: Prelude, quickly figuring out what you need to do, and then spending what seems like hours actually getting it is the opposite of fun.
The plot stuff after challenge 19 was probably my favorite part of the game. The easter eggs were pretty cool too.
Portal: Prelude has an awesome soundtrack. It's not original, but great music is great music. My favorite tracks are Silence - Larmes, Adrian Charkman - In The Beginning, and the Still Alive remixes and alternate versions by Jarrett Heather, Morgani, Razor Red Noise, TaVeRiC, and Valentin Brunn.
One last thing that sucked was that while making my way through the game, it hard froze my computer 3 times. I played version 1.1, and there's now a version of 1.1.5. Hopefully that's been fixed now.
Grade: C-
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
The Science Of TV Watching
Today in the New York Times there's a story about a study on how interruptions affect our enjoyment of TV shows:
Liked the Show? Maybe It Was the Commercials by Benedict Carey
The study's finding of increased enjoyment with a break makes a lot of sense for comedies. The interruption gives you a chance to catch your breath and reset your comedy threshold, and remember the best laughs in the previous segment.
But I would think the difference is either much smaller, or more likely the opposite, for drama shows, most notably LOST. Now that LOST is answering so many mysteries (or at least filling in information necessary to understand them) the commercials seem two or three times longer than they actually are. If they did a study using a first run new episode on 100 Lost fans I think they'd find the interruptions diminished enjoyment of the show. Or maybe not, and the breaks let the new information sink in, giving you a chance to think about the new information and try to piece things together.
One major thing not mentioned in the article is how if you skip the commercials you can watch an hour-long show in less than 45 minutes, which gives you 15 minutes to do something else that makes you happier than the happiness lost by not sitting through the commercial breaks.
Liked the Show? Maybe It Was the Commercials by Benedict Carey
The study's finding of increased enjoyment with a break makes a lot of sense for comedies. The interruption gives you a chance to catch your breath and reset your comedy threshold, and remember the best laughs in the previous segment.
But I would think the difference is either much smaller, or more likely the opposite, for drama shows, most notably LOST. Now that LOST is answering so many mysteries (or at least filling in information necessary to understand them) the commercials seem two or three times longer than they actually are. If they did a study using a first run new episode on 100 Lost fans I think they'd find the interruptions diminished enjoyment of the show. Or maybe not, and the breaks let the new information sink in, giving you a chance to think about the new information and try to piece things together.
One major thing not mentioned in the article is how if you skip the commercials you can watch an hour-long show in less than 45 minutes, which gives you 15 minutes to do something else that makes you happier than the happiness lost by not sitting through the commercial breaks.
I didn't realize states had official rock songs...
But Oklahoma sure picked a good one!
Flaming Lips’ “Do You Realize??” Voted Official Oklahoma Rock Song
According to wikipedia, only 2 other states have state rock songs: Ohio, with Hang On Sloopy, and Washington, with Louie Louie.
Flaming Lips’ “Do You Realize??” Voted Official Oklahoma Rock Song
According to wikipedia, only 2 other states have state rock songs: Ohio, with Hang On Sloopy, and Washington, with Louie Louie.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Infuriating Desktop Wallpaper
My favorite desktop wallpapers are pictures of nature that contain no trace of human activity. The following 5 wallpapers from InterfaceLIFT.com are all very close to perfect, but because of a single baffling choice by the photographer, are infuriating.
(Each of the following thumbnails link to that wallpaper's page where you can select a large version appropriate to your monitor's resolution).
The baffling choice is obviously giving the water that fluffed / smoothed / "silky" look. At first I thought it was a Photoshop effect, but from a comment from the photographer, Chris Gin, it is apparently from using a multi-stop camera. This effect is pretty common in desktop wallpapers, so I guess a lot of people like it, but man I hate it. The 5th wallpaper above, the one of the waterfall, would probably be one of my 5 all-time favorite desktop wallpapers if not not for the effect, but as it is it's probably my least favorite simply because of how awesome it could have been.
(Each of the following thumbnails link to that wallpaper's page where you can select a large version appropriate to your monitor's resolution).
The baffling choice is obviously giving the water that fluffed / smoothed / "silky" look. At first I thought it was a Photoshop effect, but from a comment from the photographer, Chris Gin, it is apparently from using a multi-stop camera. This effect is pretty common in desktop wallpapers, so I guess a lot of people like it, but man I hate it. The 5th wallpaper above, the one of the waterfall, would probably be one of my 5 all-time favorite desktop wallpapers if not not for the effect, but as it is it's probably my least favorite simply because of how awesome it could have been.
Arrested Development: The Movie
There have been rumors and speculation for years now, but now it's finally official:
"Arrested Development" Movie "Going Ahead"
And according to a story just posted on The A.V. Club RSS feed, Michael Cera has signed on as well:
Holy. Shit. Michael Cera finally on board for Arrested Development movie
Holy shit indeed.
"Arrested Development" Movie "Going Ahead"
And according to a story just posted on The A.V. Club RSS feed, Michael Cera has signed on as well:
Holy. Shit. Michael Cera finally on board for Arrested Development movie
Holy shit indeed.
Pander-off
A google search for "Pander-off" currently gets only 612 matches. That seems ridiculously low.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Daniel Gilbert At TED
Last month TED released a video of Daniel Gilbert speaking at TED in 2005. Here's the video:
And here's the video of him speaking at TED in 2004 that's been available for a while:
And here's the video of him speaking at TED in 2004 that's been available for a while:
This has to be a joke, right?
From the Ask Our Experts section of the January 2009 issue of Consumer Reports:
I've read you should chew aspirin at the first sign of chest pain to stop a heart attack, but I hate the taste of aspirin. Couldn't I swallow a tablet?
Richard Gilbert Halifax, Nova Scotia
Chew a 325-milligram aspirin (or four 81-mg pills) no matter how bad it tastes. Chewing is the fastest way to get the aspirin into your bloodstream, where it can prevent blood clots. Should you have hest pain or suffer a heart attack, first call 911, then chew the aspirin.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Something for fans of The Office, poetry, holidays, or humor.
A couple weeks ago on Dunder Mifflin Infinity, each branch had the task of coming up with a holiday theme party. My branch, Ypsilanti, came up with an awesomely bad party that is told in an awesomely good poem along with awesome pictures. If you're a fan of The Office, poetry, holidays, or humor, then I think you'll enjoy this. Here's just the beginning of it:
All the finalists' parties, along with voting buttons so you can vote for your favorite party (the deadline to vote is January 8 at 3 PM ET), can be found here:
ETA (2009-01-08): We won!!!
Posted by DMIHumanResources on January 8, 2009 at 9:30 PM:
Thanks to everyone who voted for us!
All the finalists' parties, along with voting buttons so you can vote for your favorite party (the deadline to vote is January 8 at 3 PM ET), can be found here:
ETA (2009-01-08): We won!!!
Posted by DMIHumanResources on January 8, 2009 at 9:30 PM:
Official congratulations to Ypsilanti who is the winner of the Holiday Theme Party task! They had twice as many votes as the runner-up so it's apparent how many of you loved the originality of their "'Twas The Night Before Christmahanukwanzakah" party.
Thanks to everyone who voted for us!
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