Northern Attack's 2009 Summer Writing Contest - Week 4

After submitting my week 3 entry I read through the week 2 entries to pick 3 to vote for. One of the other entries, which was posted the day before I posted mine, had the same basic idea as mine. Oops. Even if I had seen it before I posted my entry I probably would have posted mine the same anyway since by then I was already done with mine and scrapping an entry no one was going to vote for and spending a bunch of time on a new entry no one was going to vote for either probably wouldn't have been worth the time. Although it would have been fun thinking of what Michael thinks he would do if he was president.

Prompt for Week 4: Reality Television -- Well Now That's Fairly Embarassing

And my entry:

Everyone is working when Michael walks into the office carrying a newspaper. He opens it, then holds it up to everyone. There's a large picture of Michael as Ping below the headline "Nauseating Comedy Act."

Michael: They love me! I'm a star!

Jim: Um, I don't think that's a compliment.

Michael: Of course it is, Jim. Making an audience laugh so hard they feel like throwing up is what every comedian perspires to.

Dwight sticks his finger in his mouth.

Michael: No, dummy, I didn't tell a joke. Say, Pam... (Michael looks to reception, then turns to Pam and sees she's on a sales call.) Nevermind, I'll do it myself.

Michael goes into his office.
_______________________

Tom,

The documentary I wrote you about before started airing recently. Last night's segment was our annual Dundie Awards from several years ago. Watching my performance made me realize that I'm ready for the big time. So, I hereby request from you the honor of hosting the Academy Awards. Unlike some past hosts I have experience handing out trophies. A few ways I'd spice things up:

• I'd announce a few fake winners during the ceremony. When they* got up to the podium I'd shout, "Gotcha!"


• Instead of winners giving acceptance speeches, losers would have to give speeches explaining how the winner was better than them.


• One of my employees is named Oscar. Instead of the trophy, I'd present him to one of the winners* and say, "Here's your Oscar!"

I have many more ideas, but I'd prefer to tell you them in person. Let me know when you'll be in Scranton and we'll set something up.

Smiles,
Michael Scott

P.S.: No one knows this, but I've written a screenplay. If things go like I expect them to after the Oscars, I'd like you to audition for the role of my sidekick. Based on your performance in Forrest Gump, you'd be perfect. Just know that I am also interested in playing the part, similar to how in Austin Powers Mike Myers also played Mini-Me. Wasn't he amazing?

*Preferably Russell Crowe or Christian Bale