Northern Attack's 2008 Summer Hiatus Contest - Week 7

The prompt from Week #7: I have PEOPLE skills! I am GOOD at DEALING with PEOPLE!

My entry:

Invaded

Michael: Seriously, Bobs, you have got to try this steak.

Bob Porter: No thanks.

Michael: Well then at least have a kabob, Bob.

Bob Slydell: Is that a crack at my name, fattie?

Michael: No, and I'm eating for two, thank you very much.

Porter: Let's get down to it. We have some questions for you.

Michael: Okay, let's get this over with. That's what she said.

Slydell: During an average workday, how many jokes do you tell?

Michael: A dozen probably.

Porter: How many fridgolous conference room meetings?

Michael: One or two.

Slydell: How much time do you spend entertaining your workers?

Michael: A couple hours.

Porter: Thanks for your honesty. I'll be honest too. We think you need to focus on your comedy: Jokes, impersonations, all that. Let the salespeople do the sales, and forget everything else. Your job is comedy.

Michael: ...

Slydell: Is something wrong?

Michael: I think my water just broke.

A gigantic red stapler descends from the ceiling.

Stapler: MICHAEL!

Michael awakens on Jan's couch. He is wet all over. Jan is standing over him holding an empty glass.

Jan: What have I told you about leaving the TV on at night? How are you going to hear me if I need something?

Michael: Sorry.

Jan walks away. Michael watches the TV for a minute.

Michael (Talking to himself): Ugh, Office Space. Who in the world would spend their free time watching people in a fictional office? ... (Snickers) That boss is such an idiot.

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A month ago or so I think I had a weird dream where Michael was in his office interviewing an applicant for a job and he was eating a bunch of food during it. Lasagna is what I remember, but there was other stuff I'm sure. I decided I'd try to incorporate it into an entry if possible, and this seemed like a good opportunity to do so. Last night I unplugged everything because there was a thunderstorm warning, and during that time I wrote out everything I wanted to include in my entry. After I got done, I obviously had no way to count the words to get an idea at where I was in relation to the 250 word limit, and all night I was worried I was at like 750 words or something, and I'd either have to eliminate huge portions of stuff or do something else entirely. I was relieved when I typed it up, and found that it was just over the 250 word limit, and the only thing I had to cut was the part where Michael talked about how good the food was, choked while doing so, and then choked again after he woke up, and he had been chewing on one of Jan's candles during the dream. But that wasn't too big of loss. One thing I debated about was I originally had The Bob's second question refer to "unnecessary conference room meetings," then changed it to frivolous, then finally to fridgolous - even in Michael's dreams he messes up words, even if they aren't his own. If nothing else, another clue that something is definitely not right. Anyway, there's just one more week to go, and I've had so much fun writing my entries and reading everyone else's amazing entries I'm really going to miss it when it's over. Also, I have 3 more ideas that I'd really like to use for entries, but at most I'll only get to use 1 of them, as there's no way they'd still be relevant by the time (fingers crossed) next year's contest rolls around.